Have you ever had one of those days when you keep seeing pirates?
No, me neither, but last week there was rarely a day went by without one being
spotted in Pavers Place.
It started on Thursday last, two of them in the Spar, Harry
was behind the counter and he is far less inquisitive than Gary so didn’t
enquire as to what they were doing in the area. However, he did have to ask them
to leave the shop, animals aren’t allowed and one of them had quite a large
parrot sitting on its shoulder.
‘I did feel sorry for the parrot, it looked a bit fed up,
but still rules are rules’.
I don’t think spending any time in the Spar would have
helped to cheer the parrot up, Tom is in there half his life and happy go lucky
would never apply to him.
They turned up again later in the Short and Curlies, this
time four of them (and the parrot) dressed in full pirate regalia, hat, eyepatch,
black teeth, the lot. After a grilling from Shirl it was established that they
were on the way to a gathering of pirates in Penzance, the town attempting to
break the record for the most pirates in one place. They had stopped here so
that one of them could visit his Aunty Ethel, who lives round the corner in
Pavers Lane. This information seemed to satisfy Shirl and even Baz but I was
disappointed, being an aunt to four nephews, if any of them turned up at my
house in full pirate costume they would be told to change their clothing at
once, there are certain standards to maintain.
Mand was in the pub that night with Catherine, she was on a
break from Garth who had decided he needed some time to gather some power, as
he found her quite ‘sapping’. That man comes up with the best excuses, but at
least he didn’t say, ‘it’s not you, it’s me’, the reason that most of her
previous partners had used.
One of the pirates had taken a shine to Mand, Catherine was
doing her best to encourage the flirtation in an attempt to lift the malaise
that had descended on her since Garth’s decision. Mand was unsure,
‘I don’t like know really, I mean I’ve just come out of a
relationship with a religious man and I’m like not sure I could cope with
another one.’
Catherine looked from Mand to the pirate and back again, I
don’t think piracy is a religion and I’m not sure they are real pirates, he’s
only here for a few days, just enjoy the attention.’
Mand was unconvinced, why, she had argued, would they dress
up as pirates on a visit to see Aunty Ethel if they were not the real thing? At
last, Mand and I were on the same wavelength, I’ll have to watch out, I could
find myself saying ’like’ next.
The next day they were still hanging around in the street
but this time they were clearly upset about something; after several large
ciders the previous evening they had progressed to a bottle of rum and being
generous in their drinking this had resulted in a lock in at the Short and
Curlies. Aunty Ethel’s house is just a short walk from the pub but it had taken
them several hours having turned right out of the pub instead of left, on the
journey they had lost a back pack with essential items in it. My mind raced
with a list of possible contents that was causing so much concern, a hook hand,
a peg leg, eye patch, there had to be a treasure map and hopefully some pieces
of eight.
After several hours searching, the belongings were declared
lost for good, and they found themselves back in the Spar complaining to Tom
that they had lost the sat nav that they were relying on to get them to
Penzance. Tom allayed their fears, he had an encyclopaedic mind when it came to
maps and directions and would write out the main motorways for them. The
pirates left, still annoyed about the missing technology but determined to be
in Penzance on time.
On Sunday I read a news article about the failed attempt to
get the record for the most pirates in Penzance, apparently some people failed
to turn up, I do wonder if Aunty Ethel’s visitors are still driving around the
M25.
No comments:
Post a Comment