The yoga aficionados in Paver Place decided to celebrate International Yoga Day last week with an open session, allowing anyone who wanted to manipulate their body into an implausible position to do so. I have trouble bending down to pick up a dropped crisp so didn’t put myself forward for this event, although according to the gossip in the Spar it was going to be well attended.The session had been the brain child of Jacinta and she was pleased to secure the group’s usual venue, Pavers Primary, it was being held at 11 on Saturday with a follow up barbeque at Reg and Margaret’s. Reg had made a new range of sausages and patties for the occasion incorporating a wide range of eastern spices. It seemed a strange follow up to me, I thought yoga was all about the lifestyle as well as the stretching and I couldn’t imagine pork patties being included in any ancient doctrine.
Margaret, Catherine, Jacinta, Suzy and Mand were all regular yoga attendees and apart from a few teachers from the school, the only other new participants were Ken, Shane (the vicar) and Garth. I couldn’t wait to hear how Ken would get on, he seems to fall into a deep sleep every time he sits down, any floor relaxation could have him snoring loudly.
The yoga tutor was very gentle with the newcomers introducing them to a few positions that they could easily manage. As normal Garth had turned up in an unusual choice of clothing, of course his flip flops were firmly stuck to his feet (although he did remove them during the stretches), but he wore black shorts, no top and a beany hat. I can’t help thinking that the man’s internal heating system needed some fine tuning.Catherine reported back to me later that Mand had been misty eyed when Garth had entered the room but had become almost hysterical when he removed his coat to reveal his body. I understand the session was quite tame, although by the end of it Garth had declared himself as a master of yoga having affiliations to it through his Jedi roots, as if to demonstrate this he twisted his body into an unnatural shape which had the tutor begging him to be careful and citing health and safety regulations at the top of her voice.
There were a lot more people at the barbeque, the vicar took it upon himself to say a few words, which I have come to realise he will offer himself up for at any occasion, Joe lying beside him demonstrating the upward facing dog position.
Reg’s spicy pork patties were flying off the grill along with his eastern style sausages, I stuck to the vegetarian option of a cheese and salad bap, not cherishing the possible repercussions later.
Jacinta was declaring the event a resounding success and Garth was just about to recreate his twisted body position when a loud moan escaped from Tom. He was leaning over, grasping his tummy and looking quite grey, Margaret acted quickly and pointed him in the direction of the toilet.
The sausages and patties suddenly lay untouched on people’s plates, apart from Reg who was eating them with his normal gusto. Ken summed up the feeling of the guests when he said, ‘Ah, the gippy tummy position, that’s the one no one ever wants to practice’.